Dear Bon Qui Qui, I have a friend who is smart, beautiful, and funny.

However, she does not believe those things about herself. She constantly puts herself down because she THINKS she is fat (when she is an absolutely healthy weight) and stupid (even though she has a college degree from one of the top schools in the state). She bemoans the fact that she is almost 30 and single, and her destiny is to be an Old Cat Lady. I’m worried that her lack of confidence is not only driving guys away, but ruining her enjoyment of life. How can I help her see that she is worth all that in more, and that she’s got to believe in herself? Love, – Germaine


You are a good dude. I was exhausted just hearing about this girl.

Dang. That takes a lot of energy to deal with someone else’s insacurrity all day every day. It’s nice that you believe in your friend but it’s unfortunate that she don’t believe in herself. I’m fo sure that’s what’s driving dudes away. No one wants to deal with a Debbie Downer. I would say maybe you should encourage her to find her value in things other than her looks, weight and brains. Show her how to value herself for her character, friendship, and personality. I got some homegirls that aint the hottest pot on the stove and some other friends that could stand to put down a cupcake or 2 but they are some of my dopest friends. Let her know that no one in the world can do her, but her. There is no one like her and with out her this world would be less exciting. Especially your world, right?  Let her know!



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